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  “I’ve tried to be patient, Roddy. I’ve tried to give you time to recover from your loss; I know how devastating that can be.” He shook his head. “I was still in hospital when they gave me the list of casualties. All I saw was Archie’s name, and I couldn’t read any further.”

  “Is that what you want from me, Tommy? Comfort?”

  “If that’s all you’re willing to give me.” He parted my dressing gown and laughed softly when he saw I was naked under it. “You are a naughty one, aren’t you?” He reached into it and caressed my shaft, which was hard once more, not astonishing considering all the times I had tried unsuccessfully to get myself off this evening. I groaned and gave myself up to the feeling of his warm, calloused palm on me.

  Tommy leaned into me, but before he could kiss me, he must have remembered he wasn’t wearing his eyepatch, because he clapped his palm to his empty eye socket. He looked devastated, and I was sure if there was more light in the room I would have seen he’d turned pale. He backed away a step, and I seized his arm.

  “No. It makes no difference to me.”

  “Truly?”

  “Foolish captain.”

  His mouth settled on mine, I parted my lips, and I found myself with a mouthful of tongue. It glided past my teeth and teased my tongue to come play. His other hand came up to toy with my ear, stroking the curve, tugging on the lobe.

  He left my mouth and began to nibble the curve of my throat. While he did that, he pushed the dressing gown off my shoulders. I spread my legs and rocked into his grip, squeezing my eyes tightly closed. A babble of incoherent murmurings spilled from my lips.

  “Is that what you want?” It was Tommy’s turn to ask, but he understood what I was pleading for, and slid down to his knees before me. I looked down and watched as he blew on the head of my shaft, which was glistening with clear fluid. I shivered convulsively.

  His tongue traversed my prick from base to crown with a broad swipe, and I wound my fingers in his thick, fair hair, urging him closer.

  “Do you want to fuck my mouth, Roddy?” he asked hoarsely.

  “Yes!” I groaned.

  “Then do it.” He opened his mouth, and there was no way I could resist—I thrust forward. His teeth lightly scored my length and then he began to suckle, deep and strong.

  I whimpered as my knees threatened to give way beneath me. He pulled off, and I groaned a protest.

  “Gently, pet.” He took me into his mouth again while he slid his hands around to my buttocks, palming the curves, stroking the crease that separated them. And when he pressed a damp, questing finger against my opening, my knees, in fact, buckled, and he had to let me slide once again from his mouth or risk biting me.

  Tommy caught me, lowered me, and rolled me onto my back. He settled himself between my parted thighs, and I reached for his shaft, intent on learning its shape, which was different from Charlie’s. Drops of fluid oozed from Tommy’s prick, and I caught them on my thumb. Curious, I brought my thumb to my mouth to taste him. My touch and my action caused Tommy’s prick to jerk as it glided against my own needy shaft. He twined his fingers with mine, held my hands beside my head, and rocked against me with a gentle motion, bringing our shafts into tenuous contact.

  I tossed my head and bit at his mouth, needing him to press harder. My friend…my lover…gave a huff of laughter and raised up on his knees.

  “No!”

  “Shh.” He released one hand, to capture both our shafts in his grip and begin the steady friction that would cause us to explode. His lips were by my ear, and his warm breath tantalized me as he whispered what he intended to do to me…soon. His prick in my arse, my legs over his shoulders, his hands, his mouth doing…this to me.

  With a moan I climaxed, driven wild by the heat of my semen as it poured over my belly. And then Tommy was orgasming as well, mingling our essences.

  I lay on the floor, a boneless mass. Tommy levered himself off me, and I muttered another protest.

  “We can’t stay on the carpet all night, pet. It’s murder on the back.”

  I peeled open an eye. “I’m willing.” Finally relaxed, I was more than half asleep.

  He grinned, leaned forward, and kissed the corner of my mouth. “It’s unbecoming my dignified position to sleep on the floor.”

  I grinned. “You call this a dignified position?” I asked as I propped myself up on an elbow and observed his flaccid penis.

  “Scamp.” This time he leaned down and nipped the spot where hip and thigh joined, and I couldn’t prevent a little yelp. “There. Now behave.”

  I gave a put-upon sigh, but he just laughed and went into his bath, which adjoined his bedroom. Since I wasn’t going to be able to use him as a blanket, I pulled the dressing gown over me, turned on my side, and closed my eyes.

  “Oh, no you don’t, Roddy Sayer.” He pushed me onto my back and brushed the dressing gown off me. He’d brought a warm, damp flannel, and he did a thorough job of cleaning my chest and groin. Then he leaned down again, but this time he licked my shaft. I groaned as it tried to twitch to life once more.

  Tommy laughed again. Such a charming laugh…

  “We’d better go to bed, Roddy.”

  “Do you mind if I stay with you for a little while, Tommy?”

  He stroked my cheek. “I was counting on it.”

  * * * *

  I awoke with a start. The night sky was dark now, since the moon had set. A hairy thigh imprisoned my legs, and I sighed with pleasure. Charlie. I had missed so much the heat that radiated along my spine when I slept with him.

  It took me a moment to realise I wasn’t in my own bed, and another to realise whose bed I was in. I stared over my shoulder at Tommy. His cheek was nestled against my shoulder.

  “Don’t go, love,” he murmured drowsily and started to gather me closer.

  He called me “love”! I grinned fatuously, until it dawned on me that he must be dreaming of Archie, as I’d so often dreamed of Charlie.

  And I realised I had fallen into a snare as old as time: I had fallen in love with my friend.

  My heart stuttered as I eased out of bed. I had to search for my dressing gown. I plucked it from the chair where Tommy must have tossed it, slid my arms into the sleeves, and quietly made my way across the landing.

  Once safely back in my room, I hit my head with my hand, cursing myself for being all kinds of a fool. I couldn’t be in love with him, he was my friend. And then I relived what I had done with my friend, and cursed myself for being an even bigger fool.

  Never mind having crept out of his bed like a thief in the night. How could I face him in the morning, thinking I loved him when he saw me merely as a friend?

  I couldn’t be in love with him, I couldn’t—not when that was something he wasn’t looking for. I had to squash that notion.

  Perhaps England would suffer an earthquake; nothing massive, just one large enough to encompass this bedroom so I would be swallowed up and spared the ignominy of sitting across the breakfast table from my friend in the morning with my guilty secret.

  Of course I wasn’t so fortunate.

  I removed my dressing gown and hung it up, then crawled into my own bed—my cold bed—pulled the covers over my head, and prepared to spend the remainder of the night sleepless.

  Instead, no sooner had my head hit the pillow, it seemed, than I was once again sound asleep.

  Chapter 19

  It was early when I awoke the next morning. Mrs Johnson was throwing back the curtains. “Good morning, sir,” she said cheerfully. “I’ve brought you some water so you can have a wash. I’m sorry for waking you so early, but Captain Thomas is desirous of speaking with you before he leaves for the day.”

  Face him before I’d come to grips with the fact that I had committed an unforgivable blunder? “Er…isn’t it awfully early for him?”

  “Oh, no. Captain Thomas is usually up at this hour.”

  Dammit. He was a gentleman. Weren’t they supposed to loll about in bed until
all hours? “Well, I…uh, I think I’ll just see to my animals, Mrs Johnson.”

  “Oh, but won’t you be wanting your breakfast, sir?”

  “I don’t eat breakfast.” Which she knew for a bald-faced lie, since she’d seen the demolished tray the day before. I was sorry for it, but I just couldn’t…

  Perhaps by the time I was finished with the mundane tasks the horses required, Tommy would be on the errand that would take him into the city. I knew he had dealings on the London Stock Exchange.

  She stood looking at me as if I were not quite bright, and I offered her a weak smile.

  With a perplexed nod, she left. I bounded out of bed, ran a dampened flannel over my body, then drew on a set of work clothes.

  I sighed heavily and did not slip out of my room, once again peering up and down the passage to make certain no one was there. I managed to escape the house without being seen by my friend.

  * * * *

  It was a soft morning, and I walked round to the mews where my animals were stabled. They’d need to be grained and groomed, and I’d have to take George out for a gallop today as I’d promised him. My stomach rumbled, and I mused glumly on the fate of those who told less than the truth.

  The doors to the stables had been flung wide, and Willie, the very young stable boy stood before them, hopping from one foot to the other, wringing his hands and weeping. He cried even harder when he saw me.

  “Oh, sir! Oh, sir! I’m that sorry! Your lovely horses. I opened the door to clean out their stall, and they bolted!”

  My heart felt as if it had lodged in my boots. George and Hubini had refused to be separated, so they’d been placed in a very large box stall. “How long?” I asked.

  “Not more than a quarter of an hour, sir, I swear.”

  Jesus God, fifteen minutes. With their stamina, they could be anywhere in the city. I went into the stables and opened the first stall I came to. It contained a tall, blood bay gelding.

  Ollie, the slightly older stableboy came running into the stable yard, severely out of breath. “They’re down to Rotten Row, Will,” he said to the younger boy. Then he saw me. “Oh, I say, sir, you don’t want to be riding that horse. He ain’t never got over the fact his last owner had him gelded. Captain Thomas is pretty much the only one who can handle him, and that’s only if that devil decides to allow it.”

  “Fetch me his bridle.” I pulled the large head down and blew into his nostrils, letting him learn my scent. When the stableboy brought me the bridle, I slipped it on the horse and buckled it in place. “What’s his name?”

  “Anubis, sir.”

  For a moment I felt lightheaded, my hands frozen on the black mane, but then I shook myself out of the sense of disbelief and swung up onto the leggy animal’s bare back. He reached around to lip my knee, and I rubbed his muzzle. What did it matter if he had such a strange name?

  I remembered from the day before that Tommy had headed us east to reach Hyde Park. I turned the bay’s head in that direction and nudged him forward into a canter.

  It was too early in the day for anyone other than grooms to be out exercising their animals, and nurse maids taking their charges for a walk. Anubis’s hooves beat a rhythmic tattoo over the cobblestoned streets, and I was able to reach the sandy track without incident.

  I arrived just in time to see the chestnut stallion dismount from the mare. His long shaft was rapidly softening, and ropes of semen dripped from the tip. Hubini stamped a satisfied hoof, and looked over her shoulder at her mate, flicking her tail flirtatiously against his chest. Both horses ambled to the side of the path and began to graze on the grass that grew to its edge.

  A ring of grooms including those who worked for Tommy’s brother surrounded the now peacefully feeding animals, trying to get a grip on the halters they wore. Whenever they approached too closely, however, the stallion bared his large, square teeth and flattened his ears in warning. I dismounted from the bay and handed his reins to the head groom. “See Anubis is returned safely, if you please. I’ll take care of my horses.”

  “Sir, they’re devils. I thought they’d stomp us into the ground.”

  “No,” I crooned, reaching out a palm to them. “They’re Allah’s treasured gift to Ishmael, aren’t you, my beauties?” I stroked the grey dish-face of my mare and rubbed George’s chin. Hubini allowed me to take her halter and lead her back toward the stables at a slow pace. George followed docilely. Wherever she went, he would be going as well.

  By the time we returned to the stables, Anubis had been saddled. His ears were cocked forward, and he seemed anxious to be off. So did Tommy, whose mouth was set in a grim line. He was about to mount the bay.

  Tommy’s eye narrowed. “Are you all right? I was about to come after you.”

  “We’re fine.” Maybe he’d think last night was a dream. After all, I had, our first time together.

  “I don’t care about those animals. Are you all right?”

  I nodded, feeling colour mount my cheeks.

  “You didn’t come down to breakfast.”

  I led the horses into the stables and examined them carefully, making sure they hadn’t injured themselves from their early morning escapade.

  “Let the grooms take care of them. We have to talk.”

  Oh, my. That was what I had been afraid of. I pretended to ignore him, pouring a measure of grain into their manger and seeing they had fresh water, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

  “Very well.” He signalled the grooms, and they all found tasks elsewhere. “Now then.” He stood there, and I could tell he intended to remain there.

  I sighed. “Tommy, I’m sorry—”

  “Roddy, I didn’t mean to—” He crowded me into a corner of the stall, and my hand tightened on the partition that separated it from the other horses. I couldn’t quite meet his eye.

  “I…er…I made a fool of myself last night, and I apologise.” I cringed at the thought of him discovering I had foolishly allowed myself to fall in love with him. Well, I would just have to keep that information tucked in my heart until I could fall out of love with him.

  “Don’t you understand I wanted you to make a fool of yourself over me? I’ve been wanting that for months. If you tell me I’ve jeopardized our friendship because you weren’t ready for me—”

  “Sorry?”

  His hands feathered through my hair, and he urged me closer to his mouth. “Good God, how I want to kiss you.” His words were a hoarse whisper.

  I couldn’t take my gaze from his lips, and I whimpered. He set me away from him, turned on his heel, and strode out of the stall.

  “I’m returning to the town house,” he called over his shoulder. “I expect you to be there shortly. Don’t dawdle.”

  I stared after him, my lips tingling as if his mouth had indeed branded mine.

  * * * *

  I found him in the breakfast room, where a buffet-style meal had been set out. He stared at my mouth hungrily, and then shook out his newspaper and turned his attention to it.

  “Hmm. It seems Lord Carnarvon and Mr Howard Carter are on their way back to London. Shall I ask Mother to invite them to Greenbriers?”

  “That’s entirely up to you and Lady Fortescue-Smythe.” No, no, please no! I wasn’t certain how I would react to seeing the men who’d been there when Charlie died.

  “Well, it was just a thought. Let me know if you’d like that.”

  “Um…yes. I mean, all right, I’ll think about it.”

  There was cocoa in a pot, which I hadn’t had since I was a boy. I poured myself a cup, took a sip and almost moaned as the richness of the chocolate burst on my tongue. I set down the cup at my place and wandered to the sideboard to see what had been prepared. Kippers and eggs, steak, kidneys. I had never been in the habit of a large English breakfast—my parents thought it was wasteful and Brother continued in their beliefs—but I was suddenly so hungry, I helped myself to a little of everything, while Tommy watched in stunned surprise. Well, perhap
s it was more than a little of everything. I took it back to my seat and ate in silence.

  Finally, “About last night, Tommy—”

  “We’ll be leaving right after breakfast for Greenbriers,” Tommy told me, setting aside the newspaper.

  “I thought you said we’d be here for a few days.”

  “We were, but we can leave now. Mother is expecting us. We can go by train—”

  “What, including the animals?”

  He nodded. “—or rent one of those new horse carriers to transport the horses. Or…we can make the journey in easy stages, so it won’t be too hard on them. I suppose you’ll insist on bringing along that misbegotten fleabag?”

  “Rocinante? Um, yes.” I barely paid attention to his words. “About last night, Tommy—” I repeated insistently, and he sighed.

  “Last night was just friends offering comfort to one another. That’s all there is to it.”

  Well, what had I expected? A declaration of everlasting love? I was suddenly overcome with the all-consuming urge to force just such a declaration from him. I bit down on my inner cheek, took a sip of the chocolate, and reverted to the subject of our method of travel.

  “All right, Tommy. Is Lady Fortescue-Smythe expecting us right away? If not, I think I’d rather we rode the horses.” Of course we could take the train, but there was the question of funds and the lack thereof. In addition, I wanted to spend as much time with my friend as I could. “If you don’t mind? I haven’t seen anything of England since I was a boy, and then it was just parts of London.”

  “Good lord, Roddy, why should I mind? I want you to stay here in England. You’re my best…my friend, you know.” He saw my look of puzzlement and grinned. “I’ve been out of the country off and on for over ten years now, and the friends of my boyhood have all drifted away. Those men we ran into yesterday were nothing more than acquaintances, as I’d said.”

  “You’re my best friend, too, Tommy,” I said shyly. “You’re my only friend, now Charlie’s gone.”

  He suddenly looked sad. “I envy you that ring you wear. Archie would never marry me, you know. He said I was too young, and I’d find someone else—meaning a young lady. And I was a captain—sooner or later I’d want to mount him. I never have.”