Foolish Me Read online

  I slammed out of the apartment, stomped down to the basement—for a change I wasn’t intimidated by the size and the shadows—and got those boxes. They would do for a start.

  His office was neat, not a thing out of place. Even if he hadn’t been away for four fucking weeks it wouldn’t have looked much different. One of my regulars had once told me he never trusted a man who was neater than he was. Looked like he had a point.

  I put a box on the desk I’d bought Wills, but before I could begin filling it with the books and DVDs that lined the shelves, I spotted the photo on his desk, the one from our Key West vacation, where he’d looked at me with such love in his eyes.

  I picked it up and slammed it down on the corner of the desk, shattering the glass and mangling the frame. “You goddamned liar! Why did you make me believe you loved me?”

  My hands shaking, I tossed it into the wastebasket beneath the desk. Goddammit, he could pack for himself. I stormed through the connecting bathroom and back into my own office.

  He’d been singing that Carpenters’ song this morning… I ran the heels of my hands over my cheeks. It was only this morning!

  The son of a bitch wanted the Carpenters? I’d fucking give him the Carpenters. I dug out a CD and put it in the player. “Goodbye to Love.” Yeah, that was the one. I set it to repeat.

  The sound WAV that notified me when I had e-mail interrupted my bitter thoughts. It was from Victor Victoria, when Toddy and Victoria both agreed they could love King Marchand. Wills had suggested it, smiling deep into my eyes.

  Oh, God. I would have been better off choosing the WAV from The Magnificent Seven, accepting that I’d lose, I’d always lose.

  I dashed my palm over my face again, wincing as the salty tears stung the scratches from the thorns, and sat down in front of my computer. The e-mail was from Tim: I’ll meet you at the United terminal.

  I e-mailed him back: I’m on my way, bringing Miss Su. He knew about my kitten. I’d sent everyone a few pictures. Well, maybe more than a few.

  My cell phone rang, and my heart started pounding. I fumbled and nearly dropped it in my rush to see who was calling, but it wasn’t Wills, the son of a bitch. I should have realized that when the ringtone didn’t play “Temptation.” I didn’t recognize the number and let it go to voice mail. I turned off the phone and dug my rolling carry-on out of the closet in my office.

  Wheeling it along behind me, I strode into the bedroom, stepped on the denuded stems and shredded petals, crossed the squishy patch of carpet that had gotten soaked, and swung my carry-on onto the bed. Jeans, shirts, shorts, socks. I paused to dry my cheeks and blow my nose. Handkerchiefs. I threw in a double handful.

  I’d have to pack some things for Miss Su too. I could get a litter pan and a bag of litter after we arrived in Savannah, but there were other things she’d need. I retrieved her bowls and some cans of food from the kitchen and put them into the carry-on.

  “Mrrow?” Miss Su stood in the doorway, uncertain of my temper, and I felt like a shit. That was Wills’s fault too.

  “Come on, puss. We’re leaving. Maybe Mr. Cheater Matheson will get a clue and be out of here before we—” My voice hitched as a lonely future stared back at me. “—before we come home.”

  I stroked her head, then put her in her Sherpa bag with her blanket and catnip mouse. At the door, I remembered the dinner I’d planned to make. I returned to the kitchen to turn the oven down to warm. Not that I cared if the Cornish game hens were edible or not.

  I just didn’t want my house to burn down.

  Chapter 16

  TIM WAS waiting for me in the United terminal, as he’d promised. At least he kept his promises.

  He hugged me. “It’s good to see you, Sweets.”

  I didn’t correct him, as Wills might have done. Wills probably wouldn’t have said anything now anyway. Did he even care anymore? Well, it didn’t matter. At this moment he was… he was less than nothing to me.

  Tim took a pair of sunglasses from his breast pocket and handed them to me. “Your eyes are kind of red and swollen.”

  Shit. No wonder I’d been getting odd looks. I’d closed myself in the lavatory at the back of the plane a few times during the flight, but I’d avoided my reflection in the mirror. All I would have seen was a fool who’d left himself open to having his heart torn out and tangoed upon.

  “Thanks.” I put the glasses on.

  “You’re welcome. Did you check any bags?”

  “No. I just have this.” I nodded toward the carry-on I’d been wheeling along behind me. “And Miss Su’s bag.”

  “Oh?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? You think I should have brought more stuff? I’m not letting that bastard keep me out of my own home!”

  “Hey! Take it easy, babe. I’m on your side.”

  I flushed. “I’m sorry.” My outburst had drawn attention to us.

  “Ass. Once we get in the car, you can tell me what happened. Now, let me take your carry-on.” He put his arm around my shoulder as we started to walk down the concourse. “Cris would have come, but I left him to tend bar….”

  “I’m sorry, Tim. I didn’t even think… I’m putting you out.”

  “I don’t want to hear that. You’re family as far as I’m concerned, and you’ll never put me out. Besides, it’s good experience for Cris to handle the bar on his own. I stopped at the store before I drove to the airport. I didn’t think United would appreciate it if you brought a litter box on board.”

  “I’m sorry….”

  He gave me a shake. “None of that, I said. I had fun shopping for my godkitty.”

  When I’d first told Tim and Cris about Wills giving me Miss Su, Tim had declared himself her godfather. “And is Cris supposed to be her godmother?” I’d snickered.

  “No, that would be Paul.” And we’d both laughed.

  I didn’t think I’d ever laugh again.

  “We can order something for dinner,” Tim was saying. “There are a lot of good take-out places around the pub. You’re our guest, so I won’t ask you to cook for us. However, if you feel like it… I have very fond memories of the blueberry pancakes you made us that first day, and I wouldn’t say no to them for breakfast.”

  I wasn’t hungry, but it would keep my mind off what a shambles my life had suddenly become. Besides, it was the least I could do for him for taking me in on such short notice. “If you have pancake mix and blueberries, I’ll make them for you.”

  “Sounds good. Now, tell me about Miss Su.”

  I talked about my kitten until we reached Tim’s convertible, a ’66 Corvette Cris had had restored for him, but I wasn’t paying much attention to what I said. I didn’t want Tim to realize how stupid I’d been, falling in love like this. He’d warned us….

  “It’s a good thing you didn’t bring a lot.” He swung my carry-on into the narrow space behind the passenger seat. Next to it were a couple of large plastic bags with the logo of a pet store chain on them, and I peeked in. As well as the litter pan and litter, there were bags and boxes of treats, flutter balls, faux fur mice. My eyes widened. A laser light, teasers, a stuffed Garfield that squeaked….

  “Geez, how much did you buy her?”

  He just laughed. “Do you want to put Miss Su back there too?”

  “No, I’ll keep her on the floor by my feet.”

  “Okay. Get in.” He waited until we were on the road to West Bryan Street. “Now, start talking.”

  “Nothing to talk about. It’s over.”

  “Something must have happened to make you this upset.”

  “I’m not upset.”

  “No, your eyes are always red and puffy. C’mon, babe. Talk to me. I can’t help if I’m in the dark.”

  “No one can help. It’s beyond that.” I bit my lip, then burst out, “He sent me flowers, Tim! A dozen roses. Red.”

  “That doesn’t sound like something to break up a relationship over.”

  “There was a card.” I’d put it i
n my pocket, in case I was stupid enough to consider forgiving him. Not that I would.

  “And?”

  “It said, ‘I’m sorry. Forgive me. I was a fool.’” I didn’t need to see the card. The words were etched on my brain.

  “Ah, shit, Sweets.” Tim had been around long enough to know what that meant. “I’m sorry.”

  Not as sorry as I was. “Well, that’s the way things go,” I said, my tone breezy. “You know the old saying. I got along without him before I met him, and I’m gonna get along without him now.”

  “You sounded so happy with him….”

  I shrugged, even though his eyes were on the road and he couldn’t see me. “That’s the way the cookie crumbles. You know as well as I do nothing lasts forever. I was getting tired of him anyway.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I waited a second to see if the skies opened up over that lie, but nothing happened, so I told another one. “Anyway, I’m not the settling-down kind.”

  “Sweets….”

  “No, really,” I hurried to assure him. “This was just a fling, a passing fancy. I thought I’d give it a try, I did, and now I’m ready to move on to someone new. A whole bunch of someone news. You know all the different men I’ve had.”

  “I know.” He laid a hand on my knee, and I knew he meant it to be comforting. I just didn’t know whether I was comforted or not. “I also know that like most of us, if you’d had the choice, you wouldn’t have had them.”

  “Don’t go all existential on me, Tim.”

  “Fine. Tell me something. Is it likely he’s gonna come after you?”

  My heart leaped with a sudden flare of joy, and I couldn’t catch my breath. “No,” I said stonily, squashing it. “He’s found someone new. Else, I mean.”

  He looked at me. “But….” I glared at him, and he sighed and turned his attention to the road again. “You’re not gonna give him another chance?”

  “If he’d told me last night when he came home… I didn’t tell you about that, did I, Tim? Four fucking weeks without a single phone call! I thought he was… he was….” I stared at the passing scenery, blinking furiously.

  “Hmm.”

  I cleared my throat. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever we had is over. Finished. Kaput.”

  “Just so I know we won’t have an outraged lover coming down on our heads.”

  “He won’t come. And he has no right to play the outraged lover.” He’d had me; he’d had someone else…. A tiny voice in my head said, But he came back to you. Yeah, but for how long? I demanded of it. He’d had a taste of someone else, someone who didn’t have the past I did, and he was probably going to tell me over the dinner I’d slaved over that he’d be moving out shortly.

  “Well, just so you know, I checked the airlines. There are no direct flights out of either Dulles or Reagan National until tomorrow morning.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I repeated. “He won’t come after me.”

  “He’d better not, or I’ll kick his ass from here back to…. Where did you say he was from?”

  “Cambridge. Massachusetts.”

  “Yeah. From here back to Cambridge. We’re home.” Tim parked the Corvette, and we got out. I draped the Sherpa bag from my shoulder and took my carry-on, while he took the bags from the pet store. “Let’s go in through the pub. The stairs to our place are at the back. You can say hi to Cris, I’ll get you and Miss Su settled, and we’ll see about ordering dinner. Y’know, this place has a kitchen we never bothered doing anything with. I wonder if I should open it up, hire a short-order cook,” he mused to himself and shot a glance my way, “offer some bar food. My regulars might like that.”

  I shrugged. If he was planning on that, I could set up a spreadsheet to see how long it would take before such an enterprise ran in the black. I didn’t have a problem staying in Savannah long enough to help Tim, but I had no intention of letting my… my ex-lover chase me out of the town I’d lived in for so many years.

  “Welcome to the Always Reddy Pub!” Tim threw open the door, and bells above it jingle-jangle-jingled.

  The interior of the pub was lit with a warm, comfortable glow so its patrons, the upscale gay men who’d made it their current favorite—Tim was a sharp businessman and knew how fickle the public could be—would be able to see each other without having to squint. Tables were scattered around a small dance floor, and booths lined the walls. A long horseshoe-shaped teak bar bisected the room. Glasses hung from a rack suspended above it, while on shelves below bottles of liquor stood in rows, like soldiers. There were various wines and liqueurs, beer on tap, and dual stations where sodas or water could be dispensed. A jukebox stood in one corner and a small stage in another, for the local bands that played on weekends. A pool table was in the rear near the restrooms.

  The pub fell silent as all eyes were drawn to us. “They don’t usually see me bringing anyone in here,” Tim murmured.

  “Hello, Tim.”

  “We were wondering where you were.”

  “Good to see you again.” The men, dressed in designer slacks and shirts with little alligators or polo ponies on the breast pockets, were eying me with interest, and I flushed, feeling shabby in my jeans and sweater.

  “Who’s your friend?”

  “Are you going to introduce us, Tim?”

  “Another time, gentlemen.” He’d suddenly become very Southern. “My friend has just arrived in our fair city, and I want to get him settled in.”

  “Hey, boss,” Cris called. “Sweets! It’s good to see you!” He came from around the bar and engulfed me in a bear hug, lifting me off my feet. The Sherpa bag swung, causing Miss Su to mrrow in protest.

  “Same here, Cris.” I patted his back feebly.

  “Sorry, cat.” He put me down and stroked a finger across the mesh front of the bag. “Does she hold grudges?”

  “No, she’s a sweetheart.” Unlike the bastard who’d given her to me.

  Tim turned to Cris. “Can you handle this alone, babe?”

  Cris looked around. “No problem, boss. The rush is over anyway, and the crowd’ll be thinnin’ out soon enough. Middle of the week,” he said to me by way of explanation.

  “I’ll bring you something down for dinner.”

  “Cool. Talk to you later, Sweets.”

  “Later, Cris.” I followed Tim to the rear of the pub. He opened a paneled door, and we climbed the spiral staircase.

  “Tim, I really don’t feel like meeting anyone.”

  “Of course not. This has been a lousy day for you. Take it easy, get some rest. Tomorrow is soon enough for you to meet some of the guys.”

  I felt as if he’d kicked me in the gut. “You want me to trick?”

  “No! God, no! Sweets, I’d never suggest that! We’re all out of the business now!”

  “Sorry. This has been a bad four weeks.”

  “Ah, Sweets.” He opened the door and stood aside so I could enter the apartment he shared with Cris. “I’m glad you’re finally getting to see our place, though not under these circumstances.”

  I looked around the kitchen, which opened right off the stairs. “It reminds me a little of the kitchen we had when I first moved in with you guys.” It was larger, though, with enough room for a table and chairs.

  “It is a bit dated, but it suits our needs.” He dropped the bags to the floor and rubbed my back. “Why don’t you take Miss Su out of her bag? She must be getting a little restless in there.”

  I unzipped the bag and lifted her out. “Say hello to Uncle Tim, puss.”

  “Mrrow?” She blinked at him.

  “What a pretty little lady, yes, you are!” He rubbed a knuckle under her chin, and she slitted her eyes in pleasure and purred.

  “I think you’ve made a conquest.” I put her down, and she wound herself in and out of his legs.

  “I’ll put her litter pan right here in this alcove. It leads to the outside stairs, but we don’t use them much, so that’ll be a good spot for it. You can le
ave her bag there too, if you like. Come on. I’ll show you your room.”

  One of the pet store bags had tipped over, and Miss Su’s little stubby tail disappeared into it. “Don’t get into any mischief, puss.”

  “Will she be okay in there?”

  “Oh yeah. She’s a veritable huntress.”

  Miss Su backed out and dropped a bag of catnip mice at my feet. “Mrrow.”

  “Okay, then.” I tore open an end, dropped a white mouse with very pink ears onto the linoleum, and she began batting it around and stalking it. “That should keep her occupied for a bit.”

  “She is a sweetie.” Tim chuckled, and I followed him down the hallway. “This is our living room.”

  “It’s nice.” A comfortable room, with sofa, twin recliners, and a large-screen TV.

  “Our bedroom.” At the far end of the hall, it had floor-to-ceiling windows covered with sheers, a dresser, armoire, and king-size sleigh bed. I wondered if my lover would be interested in a bed like….

  I pushed him out of my mind. That wouldn’t matter, not ever again.

  “The bathroom is right down this hallway. There’s just one. And this’ll be your room.” Across from the living room. “It’s a little small,” he said apologetically.

  “It’s fine.” A double bed was against one wall, framed between two floor-to-ceiling windows. It was more than big enough, since I’d be sleeping alone. Opposite the bed was a single dresser. French doors on the far wall opened onto a tiny balcony where a couple of wrought iron chairs sat in the late afternoon sun.

  “Why don’t you unpack and take a leak, then join me in the kitchen? I’ll have the menus out on the table, and we can decide what we feel like for dinner.”

  “Thanks, Tim.” I set my carry-on down on the bed and unzipped it, then hugged him. “Guess you’re… you’re still looking out for me.”

  “It’s my job, babe.” He held me tight. There was nothing sexual about it, and I felt comforted, but I knew if I didn’t step away from him I’d be crying like a baby in a minute. He ran a hand up and down my back. “You’re not that skinny little kid anymore, but…. Oww! Hey!” He looked down. “Feeling neglected, Miss Su?” He stooped to pick her up, and she flattened her ears, spat, and batted at his hand.